all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
