I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was like eating out sand paper
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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