It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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