he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
