Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize