Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
