it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
