i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
