Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
