3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My penis needs a shock collar
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
