is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
