I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
