well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think people are normalizing furries
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
