My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
