maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize