why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize