He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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