OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
