im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize