I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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