you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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