his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
