Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize