I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
