David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
