3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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