I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
