No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
