you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
