I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
