sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
