my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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