I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
