this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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