his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
