I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
