So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
