Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
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