Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
