Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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