McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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