Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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