i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
