god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
