After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
