If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
