you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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