there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
