Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
