I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
