Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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