Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
