those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
