Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
