that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
a search helicopter?!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
