I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
