Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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