I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
