I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
