Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
