Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize