You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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